Jun 20, 2011

Being and Madness.

I have lost the thirst for beer: I purchased four cans of my favourite Heineken the other evening, finished one with much distaste, and threw the rest away. Since then, to think of downing even a mere mouthful of it is nauseating. So goodbye, beer! I shall have to live my coming days and nights in greater agony without you.

Welcome, O life! I go to encounter for the millionth time the reality of experience. For all the running to and from myself and the people and things close to me there is one I can and will never wish to escape from: life. Seconds and minutes and hours and days and nights and weeks and months and years—I welcome thee! I welcome you, all three hundred seconds of a full five minutes, with every bit of agony and yearning of a man biding his time, experiencing each moment. Because no one can endure it more. Verily they fill their time with activity to keep them from facing themselves. Who reads the disyllabic tick-tock of their life: I praise thee: you have known more about yourself than anyone else ever had.

My sanity wanes. A matter of time. Hyperconscious fool. Every moment counts. Count every moment. What difference? I live. I leech. I. I. I. I. I. I. Shut up! I. Me. My. Mine. Ego away. Embrace. Repel. Sleep. Eat. I. Type. Think. Thought. Erase. Erase. Suppress. Repress. Oppress. I. Words on a page. Syntax. Semantics. Systems. Babel. Babble. Blabber, blabber, blabber.

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